If it would kill you
by Semmiiie
Summary: He messed up big time. Everything kept falling. Even his grades at school are failing. But what if his brother blames him for the death of there father and the only friends he have turned hen back at him. Is there still somebody who cares if he dies?
1. Chapter 1

**If it would kill you.  
**_ by IateUdog._

**Summery :** He messed up big time. Everything kept falling. Even his grades at school are failing. But what if his brother blames him for the death of there father and the only friends he have turned hen back at him. Is there still somebody who cares if he dies? Dean: 18 Sam: 14

**Warning** **:** Demons, Dark-term, abuse and not nice words xD

Hello there! This is my first Supernatural fanfic. I hope that the characters are not to much out of there roll. And I hope off course that you'll like it! Reviews are always welcome x3.

**SN.  
**_  
"Why are you telling me this?" Tears leaked out off his eyes. "I don't care.. not anymore." He tried to look at the person before him. But he didn't work, the only thing he saw was a dark shadow. "Just kill me." He was not really scared for him. Not now. It didn't matter anyway, he was still going to die.  
And not even his father could save him. This was his own nightmare. Maybe if he had listen to his brother, all of this wouldn't have happened. But then again what if this was destiny?_

__

"Aah is little Sammy scared?" The man laughed. "Where is you're amazing brother now?'' He took a step closer to his prisoner. He leaned forwards. "Tell me about him, is he really so amazing like there says?" Silent was the answer. "I asked you what, son."

_Sam glared at the man who had the nerve to ask about _Dean_. The Dean who took care of him sins he was born. Dean, the man who told him to go and never come back. He closed his eyes. 'Dean, I'm so sorry man.' Without a warning he opened his eyes again. "Go to hell." The chains cute in his pulse if he tried to kick his kidnapper. He could feel a hot pain in his head when something slapped against it. And for the first time in weeks he screamed. All the memories began to play before his eyes, before everything went black. The death of his father, the man he loved once. And the harsh words from his brother. The fight that wouldn't end until someone drops dead._

**Chapter 1.  
**

He swore he heard something in the another room. Normal he would go and have a look. But this was not a normal room. This was _Dean's room_. And Dean had told him, no had promise him that if he ever took a step into his room he would kill him. _"Sammy.. sammy.." _He shook his head. Was this the first symptom that he was losing it?

A hot pain poured his head in. He graphed his head with both hands fast. _"Is there something from, darling?" _There was it again. A nice, soft voice and still you could hear the hate in it. _"Did you sleep well?" _ Sam looked up when he could feel someone next to him. But when he had scanned the whole room twice and found out there was no one there, he stood up and ran to Deans room. But when he stepped in his big brothers room everything became blurry. He took the old t shirt from the floor and hold it close. Even now, he believed that everything from Dean could protect him. Even a t shirt. Sam could feel himself falling when his legs gave away. The pain in his head became worse when he hit it on the rant from the bed.

He tried to stand up when somebody came inside the house. It took three times before he acutely stood on his own legs without any support. "Sam where home." It was Dean. There had been hunting for the weekend. He wanted to go with them but his dad didn't want him to be there. Not when he didn't have his head in it. "And we brought food." Sam smiled a little. He didn't think he could eat right now. But he wouldn't show that he was sick. His dad was not the nicest when there where sick. He probably would say: 'Suck it up and go on with your work.'  
_  
_He faked a smile when he walked in the room. "Hi Dean, dad." His voice sounded like he had been screaming for years. But no one seemed to notice. John nodded his head to his youngest son. He was not in the mood for a nicely conversation. Unlike Dean who would do anything for a nicely conversation. He had been with his dad for two days now if it was not three days, and the man never said an word expect from 'look out' and 'just kill it already'.

Dean smiled proudly at Sam if he sat down next to him. "Hey Sammy!" Dean passed the food towards him. "How was your day?"

"It was fine." He closed his eyes and took blindly his food towards him . "How did the hunt go? Did you kill it?"

Dean looked at Sam with concern. There was something wrong he could feel it. He seemed like he didn't got any sleep the night and that his face was paler than a ghost didn't make thing better.

"He gave dad worth for his money, but he's rotting in hell now." Laughed Dean. Sam cracked a smile. "Your okay Sammy?"

"Yeah.. Im fine." He picked up his fork before lay it down again. "Just not hungry."

"Sammy.."

"I mean it Dean, I'm fine!" He snapped if his headache became worse. _"Why do you lie dear? I through I told you better."_ He blinked a couple of times before he stared at the wall before him. He tried with everything he had to ignore the voice. But he failed.. _"Sammy.. Sammy.. sammy.."_

"SAMMY!" Sam looked at Dean if he was going insane. "What?" Dean signed. "Damn.. I almost thought that there was nobody home."

There was a horrible silence. Until John decided to end it. "Boys, I want you botch to pack you stuff and be ready at ten. Where leaving to Bobby's place, understood?"

"YES SIR!'' There said it at the same time.

* * *

Dean looked at his now sleeping brother. He knew there was something wrong, he could feel it. But he didn't know what. And he hated it. How could he protect his little brother if he didn't know what the problem was?

John became grumpier by the second. Nothing seems to go right. There at a schema for god sake and now there stood still, not riding, not moving, just still. Why? Because there was a idiot on the road who could drive and crashed. Like he actual did care. He just wanted to go to Bobby, so he could leave his boy for another hunt. He turned his head to his right when he heard his youngest son cry out in pain. He could feel Dean do the same.

"Sam? Sammy?'' Deans voice runs thought the care but no one respond to it. "SAM!" He smirked when Sam sit right up, shocked before he graphed his head with both hand. "Sammy? What is wrong?" Dean looks worried at his kid brother.

Sam straight is head a little. "I don't know, Dean.." He looked Dean fear full in the eyes. "She wont shut up, Dean!"

This took the attention from John. "What do you mean, Sam? Who is she?"

"I don't know, who she is.. "

**tbc. **


	2. Chapter 2

Hello there,

Sorry for this long time no see thing. I can say I was busy with school, but to tell you the true, I just didn't know what I wanted to write.  
I wasn't sure were to go with this story or the plot and my English wasn't good enough to just go sit here and type a story. I had to go and look up every word I wanted to write just to be sure I wrote it right. At grammatical was even worse and maybe I was ashamed. So I was reading this story and an another story all over again and the only thing I could think of was how bad written it was. And to be honest I don't know if I'm better know or maybe even worse. Anyway I wanted to try to start again with writing and I hope I can improve my writing. So to make a long story short, maybe if you reading this and you got tips or something to make my writing better or for me to improve my English just pm me. I will really approve it.

So thank you for reading my stories and putting up with the crap I actually are writing. You are all amazing and don't ever forget it.

Loves from me!

* * *

Dean just sat there staring out the window. He could here is little brother talk in the back of the car. Just after he stopped screaming at dad to shut her up, he felled in this deep slumber. Dean signed and looked at his father. ''Are we almost there, dad?''

Almost angry John shook his head. He slammed his fist on the steel. He wasn't really angry at his children. How could he be? They were family. He would never, reaped never, be mad at his sons. Off course they were days where he wanted to rip their head of. But that was only a moment thing. He smiled weakly at Dean. ''Sorry son, were not going reaching Bobby's for another hour. Maybe two.''

So it was nothing new. The Winchester boys or mans was not new to this all day car ride. If Dean was fair he loved it. He could sit in the impala for hours and still not caring were there where. But this time it was different. The whole situation was different. Again he looked terrified at his little brother. "Sammy your awake man?" He could feel his father shake his head next to him. As if he wanted to say 'don't Dean.'. He smiled rebels at his father. Like he was going to stop taking care of Sammy.

For the first time after, Sam had confess that he hears this voice of a woman he didn't even know, he madded eye contact with Dean. ''Yea.. I 'm awake.'' Whispered he quickly. Even John looked now at his youngest.

''How your feeling boy?''

''Fine, dad.'' He answered immediately. Not even caring he was lying to his dad. _Still lying child? Don't you even listen to your dear mother anymore? _Sam blinked hard.

''You're sure Sammy?'' Dean tried when he saw his little bro's face. Sam only nodded and Dean rolled his eyes. Typical.

* * *

Yeah and this was to short, I know... sorry ;$.


	3. Chapter 3

Before I start - thanks for you reviews! And to answer one of them: Maybe this story is one mistake and maybe it don't work out like the way I wanted to when I started this story in 2010, I don't know. I only know that I then trough this is going to be it and to be fair I want to try and make it how I then wanted it to be. And I'm really sorry you don't like the idea of it, but still I'm not going to change it even if its means that I am going to lose readers by it, sorry.

* * *

Dean was losing his patience. John was out for a bathroom break and he was gone for five minutes now. Normal Dean wouldn't care how long his father needed to empty his Willy, but today he did mind. Because every second counted. They needed to get at bobby's before sunrise. The true is Dean wasn't stupid he knew that if they made it to Bobby's his father would drive of to the next hunt. Maybe even leave him and Sammy behind or only Sammy. He always did and always would probably. But still he needed to get at Bobby's so Bobby could help Sam.

He jumped when someone opened the car door pulling him out his trough. ''Your scared boy?'' Smiled John arrogant.

Dean grinned back at his dad. ''Toke you long enough old guy.'' he replied without thinking. ''I would almost think you where lost.''

There was a short silence where John only rolled his eyes. The impala started to driving again. ''Like I ever get lost." he whispered to himself. He looked at his youngest just to see him staring out of the window. He would not start another fight with the boy just by asking how he was doing so he held is tongue.

''Yeah, you so did once or maybe twice.'' grinned Dean. ''Seriously I think I even lost count how many times you got lost.'' Laughed he turned around. '''Sammy?''

The youngest looked up confused. ''Yeah Dean?''

''You remember that one time dad got lost?'' He asked grinning. ''You know that one time when he went for a pee?'' Sam grimaced in trough and then shook his head. Dean signed. ''Come on.. it toke him two hours to find his way back to the impala!''

"Alright Dean I get it thanks." growled John ashamed because he knew his oldest was right. ''In my defense I had this head wound what wasn't healed right.''

''Yeah, keep telling yourself that old man.'' A silence followed after that.

Sam stared at Dean who was now sulking. He would have laughed at the scene before him if he didn't got this woman next to him who wouldn't ever shut up. She was telling him story's about how they went to Disney. Like he ever went to Disney. Why couldn't the woman just believe him when he told her he wasn't her son? Suddenly he turned to his dad. ''Are we there yet, dad?''

John nodded. ''Almost there, Sam.'' he answered. ''Just a minute or three.''

And he was right after two minutes they saw Bobby standing for his house. He waved at them and yelled something against his dog before he walked over at them.

''So you finally decided to show up.'' he snapped. ''I have been here waiting for hours, because someone told me he would be here hours ago.'' John smiled awkward.

''Yeah well just get over it.''

"You sure you mean that Winchester? For that you can do my shopping.'' With that bobby walked to the boys. ''That arrogant bastard.'' He waved at the two boys he saw as his own.

* * *

TBC.


End file.
